Thursday, December 31, 2009

wellll we bangkok-ed !
credits 800% to ev photog toe.
soon off to iceage of Harbin zomg -30 degrees
lowest temperature recorded in 43years.
i plan to survive.
happy 2010 yall, can u believe its 2010?
and then about happy,
well i guess this is what happy feels like :)
see yal have fun

8:51 PM

Friday, December 25, 2009

maybe i don't admit this much,
i kinda make this world out to be
this mad warzone where people
actually care enough to screw my life up
and where some higher power out there
bother to devote undivided attention
to plotting my doom.
hahahaha
i know, it gets funny, in retrospect,
because, seriously, nothing happens.
nothing really happens, the world passes by,
i tiptoe forward and that's really it.
xmas service this morning just got me into
a repenting cum thanksgiving mood.
yeah my rare camouflaging within my family
feigning religious for soul-spa at church.
i don't think 2009 turned out too bad.
i think i might even own up to being
somewhat happy.
i grew older, i came to terms with myself
and my world, i am more certain
than ever of the people i want to keep,
i learnt to be ok with last-times, and
i was made to take on the first-times.
well yes i'd always imagine first-times
to be like some sort of earthshattering/
crazy/zomgness but i guess,
they sorta turn out kinda yknow, calm.
yeah i must really chill with that
inner dramatic explosion with every lil
shiz in life because most things turn
out ok, all you need to do is breathe.
so yes maybe im happy.
maybe i have a direction and maybe
that's what i need to stay happy.
and even if it'd be scary to execute it.
but maybe i kinda know.
and maybe someday it'll be ok,
like how life is, somehow it'll turn
out ok and the people who matter would
understand.
so yes,
in the scurry of xmas consumerism
may you have a blessed xmas,
remembering the true meaning behind
this day !

5:47 PM

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

and so it is

11:55 AM

Sunday, December 20, 2009

and i really will.

4:50 PM

Thursday, December 10, 2009

i think ive been depending on
google so much to solve
my problems in life that
all i want to do now is to
google: where the f is my camera.

8:40 AM

Monday, December 07, 2009

heartbreakkkkkk
going to the elephant village @ LPQ!

"Mae Boun Nam's beautiful trunk is always in motion: sniffing, feeling and sensing, replacing the use of her eyes. Blind in her right eye for many years, Mae Boun Nam only recently lost vision in her left eye.

Her mahout, Mr. Sao, can be seen bobbing his feet energetically against her body as he guides her along the forest tracks. ("Yes," Mr. Sao admitted. "My legs get very tired! Absolutely!") With his guidance and with the information gathered by her trunk, Mae Boun Nam finds her way through the thickest jungle, and down to the water's edge.

To watch Mae Boun Nam make her way forward is a beautiful thing. Her trunk seems to tap the ground like a blind man's cane, before curling upwards to take stock of the surrounding trees and foliage. If she comes across something tempting, even Mr. Sao's adamant calls and bobbing feet can't get her moving. Mae Boun Nam lives in the moment and takes her treats when they present themselves. Mahout and elephant are are a wonderful sight as Mr. Sao serenades the jungle with traditional Laos songs and Mae Boun Nam sways her head in rhythm with his music.

Sometimes, this lovely elephant can be found resting with her forehead against the trunk of a tree, stealing a power nap between customers. This happens after a night of restless sleep, when the insects keep her awake and set her ears to listening and her mind to wandering."

10:13 AM

Saturday, December 05, 2009

ive been waking up from
dreams and feeling so
sorry for myself for them.
damn, am i really this sad?
i guess its weird because in real life
im quite used to being good at coping.
its almost like i have some sort of
social responsibility to be alright.
well i guess these days
i really feel apologetic towards
people because i neither want
to hear good or bad news from them,
i really don't want to hear anything
from anyone hahaha.
i think their personal emotions
pose too much negative externalities
on my personal emotions, esp since
i don't (I THINK) subject them to
that kind of emotional burden.
i guess its kinda selfish and terrible
hopefully it'll just be a phase
because i really would like
to be a Great Person Everyone Loves.

10:29 AM

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

attempts to hold on to wealth
are futile and tragic.
im currently grieving over my
80 bucks lost to my forgetting of
monday's driving lesson,
just while i am grappling with
inevitable expenditures like the
1XX bucks lost to salvaging my
dying skin and 2XX bucks gone
into fixing ugly hair.
on top of the XXXX bucks that goes into
my travels in dec and jan!!
i think there is quite an urgent
need to engage in some sort of
stable income generating activity
next semester otherwise i will forever
be living in the grief of depreciating
bank balance and impending joblessness.
oh my god scaryz to death. how???

1:15 PM